Missing Christopher

July 24 is a date that marks time for me now. For it was on July 24, 2008, that my firstborn son, Christopher David Laurie, left this world at the age of 33.

Yes, it has been two years since he died. Two long years since I last saw his face and heard his voice. It seems like yesterday that he was here. Then again, it seems like forever since I last saw him.

I miss him so, so much

At first, people would approach with often clumsy attempts at offering sympathy. Other times, they would say just the right thing.

But after two years,very few people say anything at all. Only a handful. Perhaps they don’t know what to say.

Many will ask how a grieving person is doing. Are they over it yet? May I answer for all people who have lost loved ones, especially children?

No. We never will be “over it,” so please don’t ask that, if you please.

Some well-meaning but misguided Christians might say, “Don’t be sad. They are in heaven!” You must have never lost a loved if you say something like that. We know they are in heaven, and frankly, we want them here with us on Earth. So, we are sad.

When the apostle Paul’s friend and fellow worker Epaphroditus fell gravely ill, Paul wrote in a letter: “Indeed he was ill, and almost died. But God had mercy on him, and not on him only but also on me, to spare me sorrow upon sorrow” (Philippians 2:27 NIV).

So even Paul, who certainly had a strong faith and his theology straight, could hardly bear the thought of being separated from a close friend by death.

Are we getting through it?

The answer to that question is yes. Some days are better than others.

The most random things can trigger vivid memories that we did not even know were stored in the vaults of our imaginations. But like little home movies, they play out, and it both comforts and saddens.
But the thing we cannot do is forget. Nor do we want to,even if remembering causes pain.

Yes, our pain is deep, but know this: God is deeper still. He has kept His promises to me and my family. He has been there for us each step of the way, though it has been so very hard.

So we do not sorrow as those who have no hope. But we do sorrow. And we will continue to shed many tears. That’s because our love continues on for that person that has left us.

Yes, I am two years removed from the last time I saw Christopher. But I am also two years closer to when I will see him again.

This is my blessed hope. It is the hope of all of use who have had loved ones precede us to heaven.

64 thoughts on “Missing Christopher”

  1. nancy says:

    Thank you for your honesty. My husband is in Heaven. Miss him terribly.

  2. Teri says:

    I am so sorry for your loss and can’t imagine the sorrow you feel. You are in my prayers as the Lord brings you and your family to mind.

    I enjoy your daily devotions and your writing style; I buy many of your books when they come out. I bought your book “Hope for a Hurting Heart” at the end of last summer 2009. I tucked it away with full intent to read it in the winter. My sister and her daughter had just moved from WA state to TX at the end of July to live closer to me and my family and for better job opportunities (my sister is a teacher). All was going great! Then, only 3 months after moving to TX (on November 8), my sister’s daughter, her only child, was killed in a car accident. Brittney was 17 (a month from turning 18).

    I gave “Hope for a Hurting Heart” to my sister on November 10 as she boarded a flight back to WA to move back. I felt God had prompted me to buy your book just months before Brittney’s death knowing my sister was going to be going through a lot in the months/years ahead. God knew my sister would need hope from someone who know’s the pain first hand.

    Thank you for serving the Lord as you do; He is reaching the broken hearted through your ministry. Christopher is smiling big and cheering you on, Pastor Greg!

    God bless you and your family always~

  3. Kanella says:

    Dear Pastor,
    My heart was moved by what you said. I did not know about your son. I too lost my beautiful daughter Katina in Oct.08,she was just 25. Leaving behind two little babies also ages 1 and 2.
    The grief I feel comes and goes. I know I will see her again. But I MISS HER!
    My other daughter has just been diagnosed with MS. And she has been in such pain physically and emotionally they were so close.
    We go on some days are easier than others
    But God is Good! and 100 years from now we will all be in heaven singing together!
    In that we can rejoice!
    So thank you for your words of wisdom.
    And I know your son was a blessing to you all.

  4. Cathy says:

    Pastor Laurie and Cathie,

    I just lost my husband 3 months ago, and your right, even sometimes christians dont know really know what to say, but like I heard in one of your messages, just being quiet, and just being there helps more. You and your whole family are in my daily prayers. Give Brittany a big hugg so she too will know how much she is loved by us.
    God Bless
    Cathy Talley
    Morristown, Tn

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